Lessons Learned Along the Way

I’m sitting here with my coffee this morning, and the house is quiet. The kiddo is still asleep. The sun is coming up over the fields. And everything is okay. Better, even. This is the dream I’ve always had in my heart, and most importantly, it’s a dream I hadn’t even realized. A dream for true, deep, unwavering, peace of mind. I’m realizing more and more that this season in my life is extremely special. What I wouldn’t give to go back and tell my younger self to hang in there. I am finally finding the confidence I yearned for so desperately throughout my teens and most of my twenties. And boy, what a lot of lessons have I learned along the way.

I’ve had my heart broken by partners and friends, and I’ve hurt others along my journey. I’m not as afraid to ask for what I want. I recognize that in relationships, you only get what you give. You’ve got to put in the work. But, I also know now, people don’t change. No matter how much you love them. No matter how much you give. Know your worth. Don’t ever beg for someone to love you.

Goals are just dreams written on paper. Once you write them down, you can start taking actionable steps. No matter how big or small. It’s powerful. And life changing. You can lose the weight, or get the degree. You can pay off the debt or buy the house. Once you make a plan, there’s not a whole hell of a lot you can’t accomplish.

Find a partner who will fight with you through life’s hard times, and celebrate with you in the good. Find someone you can be vulnerable with and push yourself to give them that… it’s scary, and hard, and oh so worth it. If you find someone who is willing to grow and change with you, who you respect, who pushes you to think differently, marry them. Marry the hell out of them.

Parenthood is really hard. For everyone. And every time you think you’ve got it figured out, it’s going to change on you. The only constant in the craziness of raising tiny humans is unwavering love. And the best thing you can do for your children is to give them that love as often and as thoroughly as possible.

Learn to listen to yourself. Your thoughts are narrating your story, and you are the only one who can change that. Are you making excuses or are you recognizing obstacles? Are you being humble or are you downplaying yourself? Spend time getting to know that voice and learn how to be friends with it. Ask for professional help if necessary. Journal, Meditate, talk to a trusted friend. Do whatever you can to really get to the core of yourself. An entire universe of possibility lies on the other side of that door.

You are not always right. You are not always right. You are not always right. No matter how strongly you feel about something, or how much you know about something, there is always more to it. There is always a different angle. More information you haven’t uncovered. Someone’s voice you aren’t listening to. Own that. It’s okay. None of us have all the answers. Learn something.

There is powerful healing in good music, good coffee, good wine, good friends, starry nights, early mornings, and quiet walks. If you aren’t giving yourself a chance to use these medications as a balm for your worried heart or mind, you’re really robbing yourself. It can be that simple.

Everyone will die. It’s the only thing we all really have in common, despite our differences. The sooner you acknowledge this power, and revere the small amount of time we have on this planet together, the better off you’ll be. You’re going to lose loved ones, and it’s really going to suck. So, call your family. Visit your Grandparents. Make amends. Let go of old grudges.

We’re all on this big rock in the sky for a short while, and I think that in itself is pretty miraculous. Why not make the most of it and help each other along while we’re here? What lessons do you wish you could tell your younger self?